Laz Vic

Actor/Writer/Comedian

SKOOL DAY -DREAMS

Change is scary. It's as scary as sitting on your grandpa's lap when he has a hard on. I have decided to attempt a change in my life and go back to school, well, not school school. I'm not going back to college. I mean even though I only have one year left for my B.A. what the hell am I going to do with a degree in theatre. Sure you could argue that my college is 60% females, 2 females 4 every male, but I REALLY need to apply myself and land a better job. Not to say that I'm not happy in this wonderful corporate paradise that I find myself in now (< ----Saracasim) It's time for a change.

This evening I shall embark on an adventure to NYC and visit a career school. Thats what they call it. I want to inquire about taking a program to become a certified WebMaster. Yes, WebMaster. I don't know if I want to do this to have a better career or because being called a WebMaster will make me feel superior to others.

"Hello...I AM THE WEBMASTER....ALL BOW TO ME!!"

I think a little of both.

BLOODY SUNDAY.

I skipped out on my regular stand-up spot at the Laugh Factory this weekend because I wasn't feeling well and I looked even worse. For some strange reason I got a cyst (a huge pimple) right on the earlobe of my right ear. My assistant/roomate/doctor performed a mid-afternoon operation and sliced the intruder down the middle. No puss at all, just blood....lots and lots of blood. It wouldn't stop bleeding, even when he applied painful pressure on the wound. After about 10 minutes of bleeding I started to think that I may die. I can see the headlines now,

"Man bleeds to death from earlobe."

Eventually the flow of blood subsided and the pimple now had a healthy black color to it.

This weather just makes my skin crazy. Mother Nature has been indecisive. It's like 78 below zero in the morning and 60 degrees by afternoon. I read an article about some bears who have actually come out of hibernation thinking it was spring. Right now their is a bear out their somewhere going, "Fucking Alarm Clock!"

Laterzzzzz