Thursday the 13TH !!!!!

Hey all, or few, or one,

Today is a new day for a new year. I wonder how long your allowed to say Happy New Year to people, I mean when is the cut off point?

Me: "Happy NEW YEAR!!"

Stranger: "ummm It's July"

Anyhoot, I had a great New Years. I took my parents out to an Egyptian resturant called the Nile in North Bergen (in Jersey) and they loved it. We talking sexy Belly dancers, Hooka Smoke, and sexy Belly Dancers. It was fun. Dad thought he was high off the incense hooka but he was just drunk from the liqour.

FACTORY OF LAUGHS

At this point I haven't heard anything about LLEGAMOS, the T.V. show I did last year. Who knows if they will even bother to film a second season. Thats the thing about this business, you could be on top and feel like you making alot of progress but just like any other business, it could all change in an instant.

So back to sqaure one... sort of. At the moment I'm doing comedy at the Laugh Factory in Time Sqaure. This place used to be a strip joint and pretty much still looks like one now. Every Sunday, I stand at the front of the club barking - for you non-comedians -- barking is the art of passing out flyers and advertsing your shows. It really is a dog eat dog business. So I'm standing out there and men constantly come up to me asking me if this place is all nude, upon which I reply that our comics are probably crazy enough if asked. I guess once a strip joint always a strip joint even if the place has a big fat sign that says, "COMEDY CLUB".

The shows have been great though. Their is usually a good amount of audience and the space is really nice, we even have a dressing room. The ushers all have black suits and ear peices on, kinda like the Comic CIA or something. My father came one week and I was nervous as hell. This is the same dad that said, "You did ok" after I won both Championship 1st place awards when I was a teen in a Martial Arts state tournament, fighting against adults. Just like back then I gave it my all looking for no recognition other than his. I was up there for 17 mintues and on fire. It was probably the best set I ever had. Afterwards I walked him to his car upon which he commented - "That last girl comedian was the best one" hmmmm.

COMEDY POLITICS

Its important for me to talk about every aspect of my career as a performer because it may benefit some poor slob later on down the line. Ever since I hit the NYC scene about 3 years ago I've met quite alot of shady characters. Lots and lots of people who talk lots and lots of bullshit. People who have tried to suck the life out of me for their own personal gain. You've got to be careful in this business and here are some tips that I have found very helpful:

1. Don't be taken by promises of stardom if you do your just dom.
2. If you are going to sign a contract - read it first.
3. No one likes a brown noser, stand up for yourself, you are human to.
4. Never get involved in He said She said conversations.
5. If your feelings are hurt, don't show it, always ALWAYS stay professional.
6. If it's to good to be true, it probably, no IT IS.
7. Know yourself, Trust yourself, and Noone else.

I always try to stay professional but not everyone deals this way and it's easy to get caught up in the bullshit. It's a small business and everyone talks about everyone so don't worry about that just practice, be prepared for anything, and consentrate on your work after all it's a job like anything else. What a lot of Artists don't realzie is that they are the product and selling the product is the bottom line. Most casting directors prefer realibility over actual raw talent. Know the industry as much as you know the part.

FREDDIE PRINZE GETS A STAR

Not many people of my generation remember Freddie Prinze Sr (Freddie Prinze Jr's Father) He was a brilliant and exeptional comedian/actor who played Chico in the hit show Chico and the Man. Well Freddie FINALLY got a star on the hollywood walk of fame. On top of that he offically recieved the star on my Birthday, December 14th < ---(in case you want to buy me a present) Thats was the best Birthday present I could ask for, much thankx to George Lopez for nominating Freddie and getting the ball rolling. The DVD box set of Chico and the Man should be coming out very soon, so if you've never seen it I suggest you pick up a copy, you will be plensently surprised.

UNCERTAIN FUTURE?!?!?!?!

At the moment I am at a crossroads. Which way to I go? How will I get there? Where am I going? I dunno, not a fucking clue. I do know that this is the only thing I can do so if I never make it, I will most certainly die trying. If you noticed my last entry I was a little down on myself. Well sometimes it's healthy to be, sometimes you just need to be depressed in order to be happy. The important thing is to get back up and keep going. Last year I had a good year and this year will be better.

I have an actor friend who is in the union, has had a good deal of success in national Tv commercials, Films, hit cable shows on HBO and still he is struggling to pay the rent. Everyday he hasn't "made it" is a tough day. An extremly talented indivdual who is way funnier than most jerks I see on T.V. But still he struggles. Why? Actors are very brave individuals not only in getting up on a stage in front of strangers but also by the day to day battle to get to that stage. Sometimes I don't know whats harder, performing or hustling to perform. I don't really have the answers. What I do have is this lifestyle, this choice, this adventure and I wouldn't trade it for all the cockerspanials in Spain.

My sense is that if you do get up on that stage or that camera, whether in front of 2 or 2000 people, you've most certainly "made it".

See ya on the other side

TwiCe

Jumping out of my skin

I'm Late for Work Again For the past 5.5 out of 6 years of working, I have been late everyday. I'm a puctual person when it comes to things I care about and my job isn't one of them. Yesterday afternoon just as I'm about to go home at quiting time my boss decides to come to my desk.

Boss: "Help me stuff these envelopes."

Me: "Umm, I can't I'm going home now."

Boss: "No your not, your going to help me do this."

Me: "Sorry but I have an appointment I have to make and can't be late."

Boss: "FINE FINE, Do what you want, go ahead, Thanks for nothing!"

Me: "Have a nice night."

Now I don't appreciate being talked to like a child by my employer nor do I think I should be reprimanded for leaving at the time I am desnignated to leave. On top of which for a reason to do work that is not in my job description. The sad thing is that I have to swallow the shit, their is nothing I can do. Should I complain, to who? Human Resources is as corrupt as the White House. Should I quit? I can't, need money to live. Should I call the Labor Union? Who has the patience or resources to go thru with it. They have a team of lawyers, I have 1-800-lawers.

So what do you do when you feel like your whole world is slowly sinking around you? How much longer can I hold out before I have a breakthrough in my career IF such a thing happens. Am I kidding myself with this whole acting thing?

My mood has gone from angry to frustrated to becoming misrable and eating many many cheetos. I feel - completely devoid and numb of all emotion.

VOICE OVER AUDITION The reason I was adament about leaving is I wanted to make this audition that was really near to my house. It was for a cartoon series in the works called, "BALLS" about this guy who has talking eyeballs and a brain that thinks he knows it all.

I figured, its super cold, the audtion is in NJ, and no NY actor is going to be able to find this address. I walk into a PACKED room of people. Young, old, fat, skinny, quiet, and loud. I sat there thinking to myself as they recited famous TV and movie lines to eachother:

Me: I wonder how many people in here REALLY are actors who bust their ass. Do any of these people have jobs? How can their be this many damn actors!

I apologize to my fellow thespians for the above but being that I am desperate to survive it's just really frustrating to think their are all these people who aren't trained and are simply here to clog up the system, effectivly degrading any chances of getting a gig. I guess these people are just as unhappy as I am and like me, are reaching for something better.

I'm so mad I can't be mad anymore. Past the point of depression I can no longer cry. Knocked down so much I don't feel the pain. So tired I can't sleep. So dormant while I'm awake. My dreams forever illusive. My goals always unreachable.

I ask myself everyday, "How much longer can I keep this up?" For everyday I keep going I lose a little more of me, my soul gets washed away with injustice and my consious weakens under the pressure. I'm sure many performers go through something like this, what I don't know is how many of those dreams have been lost. You always hear about success stories, what about failure stories, Im sure their are many more of those.

Boy am I a bummer huh!

P.S. I'm not even going to bother to spell check this blog anymore, fuck it.

Laugh Factory Live

Much to be said for these past couple weeks.

ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER

I've been attempting to relax since the wrap of the T.V. show but alas it was a short lived break. The producers called me to say that we had secured a gig at the brand new Laugh Factory Comedy Club right in Time Sqaure. We are to perform a live version of our T.V. show using our best sketches. We even hired a director for this endeavor which I was most excited about. Finally we were going to really rehearse these skits and perfect the moments within them.

Upon meeting the director I was impressed with the way he entered the room and by the way he bluntly spoke. A familiar feeling came over me and I was reminded of my days in college, studying theatre. The discipline, the technique, the feeling of accomplishment after putting in hours upon hours of rehearsal. Finally we were going to experience that and that is exactly what we needed.

As the rehearsal wore on, my feeling changed to that of uncertainty. Sure this director seemed to know what he was doing, sure he had some good ideas, but I didn't feel that he was going to connect with this group. This crew composed of New York City Comics who are used to being comedians and adhere by that art form. There is a big difference between actors and comics, the actor works with other actors while the comic works alone. So what we needed to do is learn how to work with each other while maintaining a consistency of performance.

I have worked with many directors, some amazing, some not so amazing, and some downright awful. However I could not nor still can not arrive at a definite opinion as to whether this director is working for us. One thing that really bothered me was the fact that he decided not to read the scripts. I have never encountered that before, to quote him; "I don't read comedy, I see it". What I don't understand is without reading the script how is a director supposed to know what moments are lacking. A script is your map and to me thats like an actor saying, I don't read the script I act it. On the other hand I have picked up a lot of good notes from him and he does seem to care about our vision. His job is made harder due to the fact that the executive producer is also an actor in the show, not to mention the fact that we are all loud ass Latinos and he is nice Jewish white guy. Although I saw this as an advantage because we want to reach the masses not just the minorities, also I somehow feel safer when it comes to business, hey call it stereotyping but Jews are excellent business people...

SIDE NOTE:

I don't see race becasue I am color blind

CONTINUED...

Another thing that makes me uncomfortable is that he has a tendency to flirt with the two girls of our troupe. Granted they are very lovely and attractive, hard for any man to ignore, however as a director I don't think flirting is appropriate, it singles out the actress in a room full of men and makes her uncomfortable. I try my best to treat them with equal respect with all the testosterone in the room. Lastly I must say I have learned alot from this director even though I'm still 50/50 whether he is a good match for our troupe. Well with the show opening Sunday, we'll soon find out won't we.

CRISIS WRAPPED IN PARADOX

I'm sure most performers will agree that it's a very hard life with many sacrifices but sometimes you wonder if your not giving up to much of your life. My job for example, I hate it here. For six years I have endured and suffered sitting in one place, burning my corneas from stareing into a computer screen all day. I do it for my career. If I cannot support myself as an actor so I must support myself to become one. Now my company has been sold and who knows if I'll have a job next month. At least their is no arguement about job security, nowadays you can study for years and still lose your job to India. You can't outsource entertainment.

My family and friends have been sacrificed. Holidays are usually the busiest time for a performer because everyone else is on vacation and people go out to be entertained therefore I have missed many a family gathering. Friends don't seem to understand all that well that I am perpetually busy and after a time we start to lose contact. I am used to goodbyes and am not sentimental about it I just wish you could have all your friends around you forever. Ok I'm sentimental. I am glad to have a select few who do understand and support me which will make it easy for me to decide who comes to the mansion when I get one of course.

SICKNESS INSIDE

My dad has been sick for some time now and I'm really worried. This man has been there for me through think and thin even though he was a weekend dad. He never failed to help me even if he was sometimes a little tough about it. When I was a kid I remember how he was. A charming introverted person with a good head on his shoulders. A hard worker, a man of morals and values who never had any vices. So now he is sick, a mental and emotional reck. My Father that I highly respected who never talked about his feeling is suddenly pouring his heart out to me. In these past few months on the few occasions that I have encounted him, it seems like he is expressing all the feelings he forgot to express through out his entire life. So I sit and listen. Listen as best as I can with a sad relief. I'm wondering what to say or not say. Scared of this new person who seems so unstable and yet grateful for seeing his emotions finally revealed.

Not much more I can say...

Don't Change that Channel!

TodaY's DaY: Today I decided to come back on and update this blog. I admit I have been lazy but with good reason. I'm on vacation. Granted I'm at my day job right now, suffering like a slave at the hands of the yuppies but since I finished the first season of LLEGAMOS, I no longer have to stay up half the night writing. So just working during the day is a vacation.

Also lots of exciting, semi-exciting, and utterly mundane things have happened in the past month that I felt best be described in a summarized fashion instead of giving you every last detail of my existence leaving nothing to the imagination.

I came on and noticed 38 hits on this blog. Subtract myself and I got 28 hits on this blog, 20 of which is probably my girlfriend, HI BABY! That leaves 8 people or 1 person who looked 8 times. In any case I find the prospect of strange human beings from far away lands enjoying my writing to be orgasmic.

LLEGAMOS - Episode Wrap After 12 weeks of craziness I can't believe it's over, its finally over. I loved working on the show but damn did I need a break. The last show called for 3 new skits, 1 filmed and 2 live. Well it seems that my colleagues have enjoyed my work and so I was commissioned to write all 3. This being the last show I felt some pressure, giving them something that would top every other sketch of the season and take us out with a big bang was quite a challenge. Thank goodness I wrote a sketch weeks ago on a whim while watching TV. I was inspired by a show called, "Pimp my Ride", on TLC or Discovery or one of those educational/reality networks. So I wrote a sketch called, "Pimpea Mi Coche". A more hoodlum point of view as to how they would hook up a stolen car.

Pimpin Through the Nite This shoot called for us to rent out a car garage in the Bronx which was very appropriate. We all got a jumpsuit with our respective character names on them and immediately I felt the atmosphere of the sketch come alive. It was a night shoot so we began in the early evening with our producer warning us that we refrain from dilly-dallying or we would be stuck filming all night. "I don't want to be here till 3am, you all got that!", he demanded with all of us agreeing.

2:45am rolls around and we only have one shot left. Unfortunately they saved the hardest for last. Not a moment to soon either because one by one our lights began to pop and die. The garage was already freezing from lack of a heater but this last shot had to be done outside. The script called for the two main hoodlums to walk down the block while introducing the show. We stood outside shivering while production readied it's equipment. The two of us, wearing only these light jumpsuits would uncontrollably shiver until action was called, then we would walk and talk as naturally as we possibly could. The director would yell "CUT!", and again the shivering would return as if some magic spell came over us. We finished at 3:15am.

MY LAST LEG Tuesday night of the 16th of November 2004 was the season finale of LLEGAMOS. I was excited, anxious, and nervous all at the same time. Standing there, looking at the crew setting up I was trying to reassure myself of the skit I had envisioned on the stage. Was it really a good idea or was this last idea fueled by a desperate and sleep deprived mind? It was a simple pantomime, a day dream I had.

The sketch told the story of a wondering bum arriving at a bench in which he transforms into his sleeping quarters for the night. As he collects his blankets or news papers a young couple strolls lovingly into the scene. They seem to have a special bond with the old bench and decide to sit and reminisce. The rest of the piece consists of the battle that ensues between the couple and the bum over the bench, a fight, a wedding proposal, and an embarrassing conclusion all tied to a heartfelt song. The themes I tried to hit are love and social satire. That no matter where you are on the social ladder we are all still equally human beings. All the bum wants to do is go to sleep which ironically paralleled my own wishes. Art imitating life.

Back in the dimly lit comedy club, I still stood day dreaming of the outcomes of failure. I had little confidence because we had barely rehearsed a sketch that required timing movements to music in order to finish in synch with the song.

Time seemed to melt away and show time was approaching. Sitting in the make-up chair the artist working on me commented, "You are looking paler than usual, we are going to have to cover up those black circles under your eyes." After he caked a bunch of make-up on me I looked in the mirror and stared at person I have never seen before. The make-up just made me look dead. I was supposed to be a news anchor.....oh well I guess that makes sense.

As the audience was ushered in I paced back and forth vigorously going over my script. For the life of me I could not remember my character's name, you would think the fact that I penned it myself would help but it was as if someone else wrote it and with ill intent toward me. I was past the point of delirium and didn't know how much longer I could keep it together before I tore off all my clothes and began making animal mating calls. "This is the last show, one more and it's over", I kept telling myself. Nervous as I was I didn't notice that the room had filled to audience capacity and their was standing room only.

THE HOUR OF PERFORMANCE Some how, some way I ended up placed on stage sitting at a desk with my back to the audience. I was waiting for my cue. I started to sweat and wanted to cough. "Just anxiety." I thought, and at this point I conjured every last ounce of energy I had left in my body and turned the comedy switch to ON. There is my cue.

That was the last thing I remember, I let my mouth do all the work while my mind was lost. I remember laughter, loud laughter and then it was over. I had gotten through it without a hitch and had no clue how.

I went upstairs to smoke a quick cigarette before going back to wardrobe to change out of a nice suit into a worn out bum get up. I thought for a brief moment that this may be a metaphor for how I may end up in my career. Leave it to me to think in such extremes. Everything and everyone was in place, the lights were dark and the music began. Oh this sweet- sweet music threw me into a dream, the dream. My energy and nerves were irrelevant now. All I could think of was nothing. I was blank. I was the song. The lights came up and I was pulled by some invisible force through the sketch. The notes of the music carried me as the melody called to me. Again I remember the laughter and I also recall what seemed like every member of the audience breathe in deeply in reaction to the story. They were taken, the music was affecting and filling up the entire room with the telling of the story. It was working. The last most important moment was met with perfect timing and the people got it. The lights dimmed down to applauds.

A big whiff of relief circulated throughout my being and I realized I had just crossed a personal cross roads. My little day dream had translated into the real world and briefly it had lived on it's own. I thanked the theatre Gods and was reminded of a personal quote that keeps me strong, "As long as I have my dreams, I shall never fall asleep"......Then I collapsed.

QUICK SUM Oh yea, ThanksGiving dinner was great, I saw my lil brother, and I got into a big fight with my girlfriend because I have personal relationship issues stemming from a turbulent past.

Until the next moment.......Stay awake!

Back to the Blogging

PLAYING CATCH UP
When I last left you....I can't even remember where I last left off it's been so long. A long, busy, painful, 7 day a week 22 hour a day nightmare wrapped in an enigma of timelessness due to sleep deprivation. Working a 8-5 office job by day and then going to work on a T.v. show by night, with no rest in between is enough to make me cry, not from sadness but pain of keeping my eyes open. I love doing the show and hate my job. I get paid to little for doing a lot on the show and get to much pay for doing nothing at work. A paradox, the story of my life.

EL SHOW
Somehow 3 writers, VC, GT, and myself, have managed to write an hour talk show/sketch comedy show week after week for 12 weeks. Looking back it seems unreal. Not to mention the incredible work of our boss. Let's call him Gordo. Gordo is the executive producer of our show and he never seems to surprise me. Whether it be that he is one of the few people on earth who actually says something and means it. The type of person who doesn't try to be someone else and isn't afraid of speaking his mind. An excellent salesmen spirit and a genuinely good person. He also has his finer points in which I feel is important to list here:

*Will eat your food if left unattended, after apologizing may accidentally belch in your face.
*Will bring up various interesting topics such as; Farting, Tongue to Anal techniques, Anything involving an amputee and a big black rubber dildo, German porn, Any porn, Sex of any kind including fetishes in graphic detail while in public.
*Has loud deep resonating voice which is unmistakable in a library.
*Can become naked at any moment
*May attempt to hump things including humans, machinery, and inanimate objects
*Will use racial slurs in casual settings

NEARLY DONE
These last few weeks have just been crazy. With only 2 episodes left to shoot I'm looking forward to a break, although from what I can gather from our meeting yesterday their is a lot to do for next season. My only hope is that they give me more money so I can leave this gut wrenching hell hole I call my day job.

CRYPTIC MESSAGE
On election day I was on a bus going toward the city on a road that has a full view of New York City from across the Hudson. Looking from my window, it was a clear day when suddenly I could not help but notice two twin propeller planes following each other. They looked something out of world war II and they each carried a banner waving behind them. The first banner read: "Hiding your motives is despicable" The second banner, "You will live the surprise result of an old plan". After arriving at Port Authority I thought about that this cryptic message as I walked toward the comedy club that night.

*What does it mean? Why was it so cryptic? It had to have some importance being that it was on election day. It reminded me of something I've read before and I got a bad feeling in my stomach. An old plan? Well the "plan" in Orwells book 1984 states the 3 super powers of the world are in a voluntary perpetual war to keep all of us in line. We are always kept in the dark and afraid of "Them", or "Communists" or "Terrorists" to keep us blind with fear. We never have our own thoughts, the government thinks for us. We never deviate or question our country. We always have someone to hate and most importantly, we are always at war. Ring a bell? Looks a lot like the world today. Someone very wise once said, "Those who do not know history, are doomed to repeat it". Then again, that was my first thought for an answer and I could be wrong.

BUSH WINS
The majority of the minorities helped vote Bush into office again, the Hispanic vote. I myself am of this culture and proud of it but consider myself an independent when it comes to politics, of independent thought and opinion. My fellow people however are very much republicans and very religious. It is beyond me how they can be so "Right", most of us are piss poor and we all know how dearly the upper class care for us. I do understand their deep religious roots, being spiritual myself, I understand how important it was in my upbringing, however, when I also took the time to research and read other opinions from across the board to finally come up with one I think is a logically plausible solution to a way of looking at things, I discovered plenty of blatant disregard for civil liberties under this so called president. This administration knew what card to play and they played it very well. Taking advantage of a people who actually believe the president cares about them. I feel sorry for my country.

*It's a Television nation and TV dictates our views our believes, and even our morality. No one takes the time to educate themselves. Schools across the country are plagued by an attitude that education should be rigid. Controlled. Subjected to unbelievable scrutiny. Bullies are being arrested and charged with, "Making a terroristic threat". I actually think "Terroristic" is a new word! Text books being burned and remade to fit our ideal of history up to this point at this moment when it will change again at any moment so be ready to forget everything you just learned prepared to believe an entirely new fact.

*It is up to the individual to educate themselves and because their is such a lack of that in this country our rights will be taken from us, right by right and right from under us.
When did we decide to become sheep? Throughout the 1980's America had the individualistic attitude. You couldn't tell us what to do we were the leaders of our own lives. Now we are scared sheep being barked at by the prairie dog and corralled all about the farm. There is no place like, Homeland Security.

POLITICAL SICKNESS
I'm sure all of you are all now draining from this past election. I can't remember another time when this country has been so taken in by double speak. I'm pretty much done with all of it myself. I can not wait until the stale cold air of this political atmosphere lifts. The last thing I am going to say on the subject is, we are now all responsible for the mess this president will cause, let's hope he doesn't push us into a World War III.

JOBLESS DREAMS
I have reached the boiling point of patience at my job. No human being should be subjected to such slavery. I'm in the process of searching for a part time job. Hopefully I can find something that will be stressless while allowing enough income for survival. I am making a list of "People who are assholes" to present at the academy awards when I win the Oscar. Oh yes they will get theirs.

CLIFF HANGING
To culminate this update, I want to say that I feel like Willie Coyote chasing after the all illusive Road Runner. Just before I catch him, I fall off a freakin cliff.

Until next time ----------CRASH!

When the going gets tough, I get a fever

Well hello there you wondrous cyber freaks.

TUESDAY NIGHT SHOW
I've have much to share with you. It was a very difficult week for me on account of my sickness. Let's start with what happened with our show on Tuesday night. A certain club owner let's call him Scrooge, double booked another show in our space and we were forced to a smaller yet intimate room upstairs. Problem was we didn't have any kind of audience. Partly because the stupid show downstairs took our people and also the fact we didn't advertise on such short notice. So we were forced to cancel. We did use the time to have a rather fervent production meeting. At this point the stakes have been raised and emotions are running high due to the incredible amount of stress everyone is facing. In my opinion we need to deflate ourselves a little and step back to realize the bigger picture. We are on a small budget on a very little known cable station. Let's make the best with the tools we have and secure a 2nd season. Remaining professional in the face of adversity separates the men from the boys.

NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES
The rest of the week I became progressively sicker. Since I do not get enough time to rest and recuperate myself, it takes me that much longer to heal. I napped every chance I got and did my best not to faint at work.

On Wednesday I was a participant in a series of near death experiences. Feeling as I did, I spent a greater part of my day in the bathroom at work. To reach my desk you must cross through a giant glass door which can only be opened with an ID that releases a magnet. As I opened this door a brick sized piece of metal with the magnet inside became loose and propelled itself toward me, nearly clocking me in the noggin. It passed so close to my face in fact, I felt the wind of it push me back. I looked down at this killer and thought to myself, "Workmen's Comp", and picked up the piece. I could have easily claimed I was hit and very well could have owned this company never working again but something told me to remain honest. Call it a weakness or even my own disillusion but I believe in order for a person to truly be successful he or she must earn it, fair and square. Sure, maybe I could have scammed the company out of a few thousand dollars but at what cost to me? This incident could have sparked a cause and effect scenario of doctor's appointments, lawyer scrutiny, and a tyranny of paper work all of which I have no time for. As much as I hate the yuppies I will beat them on my own terms and keep my conscious clean, which is more than I can say for them.

That same evening in the car, I kept thinking how lucky I was. I could have really been hurt maybe worse. I'd rather be a poor healthy man than a rich vegetable, I thought. I turn onto the highway and it is packed with slow moving cars as usual. For some reason I decided to switch lanes and sail home on that lane. Just as I put on my signal and began to move, a car on my right smashes into the vehicle in front of him causing that vehicle to lose control and swerve, smack into the lane I had just been driving in. It was so close I heard a crunching sound and witnessed the entire thing. Had I not switched at that exact moment in time, I would have surely been a part of that collision. I was the last car out as all of the traffic stopped and all I remember is looking in the rear view mirror and spotting a Mack truck driving directly behind the position I was in originally. The rest of the way home I was extremely cautious of my surroundings. When I arrived home I tried to avoid any unnecessary movement.

THURSDAY NIGHT FILMING
On Thursday I arrived to work predictably late. I sat down and tried my best to stay awake. My co-worker gave me one look and said, "You look terrible". I thanked her and continued to sweat it out, literally, I was profuse with perspiration. My colleague requested I go home, not over concern for my health, but for hers. I agreed I was terribly sick because I began to see a tunnel of white light appear every couple of minutes but I hesitated. The boss is already angry at me for taking an average of 1 day a week in sick time. She also nearly caught me coming in over an hour late but couldn't disprove my story of being in the bathroom. Finally my co-worker went upstairs and soon I got a call from the boss in a very concerned voice say, "Listen, people are telling me you have a fever and are sweating, just go home". So I did.

I caught up on some sleep and got up near night fall. I packed up my stuff and off I went to the big apple to film a new sketch I wrote called, "Latino News, News with SALSA!". I met everyone at the LTV studios in Manhattan. Its a quaint little building in which I got lost. After opening many doors and going down strange corridors, I found my way by following the sound of voices. The shoot went pretty smoothly. I played a news anchor and a lovely young actress named Elizabeth played my co-anchor. I was impressed with her inflection of voice, it really sounded like a news caster. What great fun it was to see all my characters come to life. I'm really proud of this particular sketch because it is not only silly but witty, the characters wacky and three dimensional. For a while I even forgot I was deathly ill.

I feel a world better today. It's Friday, I got a pay check, and have most of the weekend off. Sunday we have our comedy show and I'm looking forward to it but that adventure will be discussed soon enough.

Until Next Time - from everyone at Latino News - Gracias and Good night!

Where am I?

It seems an eternity has passed me by since my last post. This weekend I finally got some time off for myself and so my body decided it would be a most opportune time to get sick. I came home from work and crashed fully clothed on my bed at 6pm. I didn't regain consciousness until Saturday at 12 noon. At least I got a lot done in my dream world. It took me at least 3 hours to snap out of my post-slumber zombie state.

As sick as I was I still wanted to hang out with the girlfriend. She came over that afternoon and we spend the rest of the night listening to music over some conversation. The comedy life doesn't allow much time for relationships, even so I think it is of up most importance to try to maintain a fully balanced life, no matter how unstable it may become. I mean if you don't at least try to have a life outside of comedy then how can a comic share any other experiences beside hanging out at comedy clubs. Anyway, she bought me a new chair, a director's chair with my nickname on the back. It's very nice, now if I can only score a gig as a director. I also feel a little guilty about taking gifts out of gift season. Is she trying to buy some snuggle time? hmmm.

Relationships in general are hard enough. I seem incapable of truly loving someone. I guess their are still a lot of internal issues I need to work on before I can fully trust someone else. Perhaps that is why I seek out attention. My entire life has been a game of adaptation beginning with being a total outcast and getting rughed up over it. To avoid being the center of a gang's attention, I join them instead. If ya can't beat them, observe, adapt, and take the whole thing over I always say. I constantly floated from one group to the next, hoping to fit in and making it such a personal mission that I forgot who I was. Ever feel alone surrounded by people?

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY

After spending so much time in bed I was kinda, and I stress KINDA, happy to go to the writers meeting. I put my foot down and announced that since I was in poor health I would take my leave at the end of our meeting and not perform in the night's show.

8pm rolls around and I'm standing outside sniffling while I waited for the show to start. I was to go up 2nd. The audience was small, didn't bother me. The first row was full, of a group of tourists from East Asia who spoke little to no English. All together in one group of friends. They were the most reserved, timid, non emotional audience members. Comic after comic went up to silence. A few giggles here and their but silence for the most part. I'm pretty sure they didn't understood English by the lack of reaction. I seem to have a love-hate relationship with audiences. Either they love me or I hate them. Problem is when I get pissed off at the audience, I tend to.. umm....how can I put this gently....I tend to berate, bash, and generally insult them. A slight kink I must fix. I remember the last time I got heckled by a drunk girl in which my response was, "What's wrong with you, your pretty, I'd fuck you".

Well by the middle of the set some of my comic buddies where laughing at the sight of me desperately searching for the red light to come on. I compared making love to preparing pork fried rice and attempted Chinese sign language. Not a very smart route to go on my part. Honestly though, I don't see race, I just see whats funny. I'm totally oblivious to the fact that anyone is black or white, in fact I'm color blind. I was just looking, reaching for some common denominator that could bring us together to laugh, but they held strong and nothing! I had a theory that they may have gotten together before the show and all agreed that it would be funny to go to a comedy club and not laugh.

Now as coughed out a lung I had to stay for the 2nd show to redeem myself. It was nearly a sold out house. Literally the scene changed from ying to yang. In my experience the bigger the crowd the easier the laughs after all laughter is contagious as so was I. Cough. I was slated for the 2nd spot then 3rd now I was pushed back to 5th. That's ok, the crowd will be that much more intoxicated. My boss walked in and decided he would take a turn at the mic. He is great but also very very insane in the head. He made them laugh and cringe with his brutal unadulterated vulgarity. He spoke of eating pussy, blowjobs, and salad tossings. How in God's name am I going to follow that act I thought. That's like trying to watch Sesame Street after Debbie Does Dallas. My good friend and mentor saw that I was visibly nervous and gave me a little pep talk. I went up their and as he said, "Ride the wave", I caught a good wave to start and it pretty much carried me all the way to shore, almost. I should have ended with my testicle joke, instead I ended on a weaker joke. No matter it was a solid set and I felt good about it. Now I know for the next time, when it doubt, end with a ball joke.

I didn't get home until 1:21am last night, another crazy adventure in the city ended and I was off to meet Mr. Sandman.

Until next time - Cough...zzzzz...zzz.zzzzz

Danger Filled Dreams

It's been a few days since my last post, a few hard days I must say. First off let me acknowledge a great comedian and person who passed away this week, Rodney Dangerfield. He was a great talent that selflessly helped many comedian's careers take off. He inspired me as a kid with comedies like Cadyshack and Back to School. Rodney you will be missed and never forgotten.

WORKING 9-4:30
As I write this blog I am at my day job. The cold corporate world of concrete and glass. I can not write more than three words without the phone ringing or a yuppie asking me for something menial. Hold on....Sorry. Anyway very appropriately the song on the radio is Hang on Snoopy. That is exactly my sentiment this morning. Yesterday I called out sick (again) and my boss calls me up to discuss my serial absences. We stayed on the phone for 20 minutes while I explained that I am no longer in full control of my job because my co-worker, let's call her Nazi Lady, is keeping me from doing my job. We ended on a good note agreeing I won't be taken to much off anymore. That served to keep the lions at bay a little longer while I figure a way out of this situation called my day job. I just want out, but until I can supplement my income with something else I shall be a slave to the system. Hold on......Sorry.

LAST TUESDAY'S LIVE TAPING
This Tuesday that just past was a hoot. The club partner of the place we film our T.V. show at decided to book another show before us in true I don't give a fuck about anything but money fashion. It was some fundraiser for some disease. Anyway, The big club owner (who won a divorce settlement from a poor bastard that lost all his clubs across the country to her) was their with her fat cat husband. This cat, as I shall refer to him, decided he wanted to complain about our set being in the way and that he wanted we take it down. Apparently he thinks this will give him the appearance of being a big important guy, the only thing this accomplishes is that he is big and probably with small penis. After much conflict in the midst of our rehearsal he must have become dehydrated and headed straight for the bar. We were in turned exiled to the smaller upstairs room. Like yuppies, rich fat cats love to throw their so-called power around. It amazes me how petty people can be. We made due though and although we had to start 30 min late - we did.
This week we had a Psychic medium, as supposed to a Psychic well done. We also had a very funny comic that always reminds me of a dear friend that passed away about a year ago, so watching him is entertaining yet sadly depressing simultaneously. Our musical guest this week is to be filmed today so I nor the audience enjoyed that. A combination of a video interview and the Psychic in my opinion bought the shows energy to low. As a result the rest of the show lacked that high vibe we have been producing. It wasn't a horrible show but not a better show as we always aspire to top ourselves. In any case it taught as a few valuable lessons on guest placement and preparation. The early altercation didn't help us either but non the less I'm proud of that show.

I was invited to the Copacobanna to see ANDY ANDY perform however I'm stuck here at work with little time to prep and primp for the night's events and have decided to stay in. Working 7 days a week has an effect on my social and sleeping habits. I really need to get out of this yuppie hell with Nazi Lady. I'm very fond of Nazi Lady as a person but as a co-worker I am as fond of her as I am a used stomach pump.

THIS WEEKEND
it promises to be a busy one as usual. All day filming on saturday and production meetings and the comedy show on Sunday. I can't wait.

Until the next time we meet - Hit a Yuppie :)

Stuck in Yuppie Paradise

THE ART OF STUPIDITY
I haven't mentioned the fact that I work as a receptionist/meeting planner for a major telecommunications company in NJ. Inside a big corporate building that from the outside looks like a mountain of tainted glass with an endless parking lot filled with a sea of cars. I am the first and often last line of defense in a world of social hierarchy and artificial personalities. That special breed of people who value name plates and office space more than their fellow human being. People who spend a better part of their lives kissing corporate ass while extending their own rump for a smooch from the lower ranks. Somewhere along the line they were taught that their individual needs outweigh everyone else's because they were given the title of director or V.P. Its a shame they don't realize they really don't serve any other purpose or power beside the fact that they are blindly making their leaders richer. In the end they shall simply be replaced and replicated with someone else that has already been trained to be a monkey and is a carbon copy of themselves. I do understand their need to provide for their families financially but does that mean they must sacrifice their very souls to eventually become slave robots only living for the weekends.

I especially enjoy those big fake smiles and sarcastic attitudes when they become "upset". How quickly they turn on you or how fast they crumble when a nerve is touched. I must walk on egg shells to appease all these princes and princesses, if not they will do me quite a disservice that is most frightening, like child who's favorite toy has just been snatched away they will cry and pout to their superiors. I in turn might suffer a worse fate than lashings, they may decide to violently print out a form and force my signature to admit my deviance. Oh the horror.

Of course like any subculture their do exist good caring people. Everything has its good and evil after all. For example on the other side of the coin we have those unique creatures who never bothered with educating themselves and believe the world is on pause until they walk into a room. They aren't aware of their ignorance, in fact they revel in the belief they already understand all their is to understand. These are called "Temps", I admit most come from less than opportunistic backgrounds, however I always believed it is up to the individual to better themselves but how can you accomplish this if you aren't even aware that you can in the first place. These poor souls aren't even capable of expressing themselves or communicating with anything other than ebonics thus automatically sentencing them to the lower class. Like sheep they are all herded up and mass trained to become good little animals of the system. Even though they are led to believe they were special enough to land such a job, that the American dream has been reached. They do not work for the company but are simply temporarily hired for cheap labor. They are the ones that are chosen to work on late nights and on weekends for just enough pay to keep them seated. It is the modern sweatshop. When all is said and done these sheep are efficiently sent to the slaughter house and deleted to make room for the next batch.

I do not mean to be so bitter as I am more frustrated that we seem to have a generation of people who are lost. We do not value the quality or importance of our work, our morals, but worse ourselves. We are allowing the disintegration of our identities by giving into the status quo because it is less of a hassle than fighting for our rights. Well I refuse to give into the system and that is why I stand firm and try to educate my fellow human beings even if it means sacrificing the easier things in life. I am no saint, far from it nor am I fully educated or have all the answers. What I do have, I will always share for the greater good and for the sake of truth. What I do not know I will always seek out. Learning is a lifetime. I may be a comedian but I am also a citizen of the world and know that my contribution consists of more than jokes.

My hope is that these words inspire someone out their to turn off the Television run outside and discover the world that has always been their. The real world.

Until Next Time - Learn something New.

The Eyes of Comedy

Heyyyyy! How the hell are ya?!

Its been 4 days since my last entry forgive me bloggers for I have sinned. Its Monday again and again I am utterly exhausted. I went to sleep at 3am last night and barely began my dream when I had to get up again. This working 7 days a week is putting me on the border of delirium. Lack of sleep causes many every day tasks to become extremely difficult, such as operating a motor vehicle, attempting to have a logical conversation, and walking. Right now their is a little low battery light flashing on the top left hand side of my vision. Beep...beep...beep.

SATURDAY'S ALL DAY FILM SHOOT
As you can tell from the above title it was busy this weekend. The day started at 8am kicking and screaming because I did not want to leave the euphoria of my bed. My roommate/general assistant had a prior engagement - ( a new job) and could not make it to the shoot. Being that I'm only comfortable driving in Manhattan and have a fear of parking my car in any of the other 5 boroughs especially Brooklyn I decided to take the subway instead. It took me ass long to get to my destination. When I finally arrived all I did was wait around for the crew to set up. We were supposed to get through 2 sketches by days end however this did not transpire as the script was changed completely the day before and we had to make the necessary adjustments. While annoying you must expect such things working in this business. Some of the cast and crew seemed very irritable because of this but I did not let it effect me. Whenever something stressful happens I simple say to myself, "At least your not with the assholes", of course I'm referring to a certain group I used to work for (See past blogs). After that I'm right as rain and ready for anything. I do thank the ASSHOLES for building up my patience. The important thing is that we got the sketch done and ready for editing. I went home that night feeling drained and yet it took me very long to fall asleep. When I finally did, I dreamt of sleeping.

SUNDAY STAND UP
Sundays is always a fun day. Its full of writing meetings, production rehearsals, many wise cracks and a few altercations. I spend the day working into the night. The atmosphere of the village is so vibrant with people from every walk of life. They only common denominator, they all pass in front of our comedy club. Yes, tonight at this moment it is our club and no one else's. We man the doors, we bark and beckon people into the club, we are the performers for the evening. As the sun goes down more and more people we know appear with stories of the week's events. Some comics show up hoping to score a spot on the show some how. I admire their dedication but it gets lost in their insistence. As the night rides on we stand outside in front of the club listening to the music flowing from the bar and the laughter from inside the club. Who is up next? How did your set go? What kind of audience was it? These sentences ring constant in different circles of conversation. The night wears on and I'm told, "Your up next", the sick feeling of nervous lives in my stomach. I kiss my ring TwiCe for luck and try not to think to much. I reluctantly purchase a beer and now I'm on my second hoping the seal doesn't burst while I'm onstage. The other comics hide in the shadows toward the back of the room, silently preparing, judging, and observing. Now the host is ready to bring me up, his eyes search the room to make sure I didn't flee. He gives them one more joke and introduces me as I walk to the stage.

All alone with a room full of strangers I am elevated and in front a row of hot lights. I can barely see more than shadows but I know every eye in the room is fixated on me. They are waiting, to laugh, to boo, or worse to stay in silence. As I take the microphone off the stand all my nervous of fear transform into confidence that fills every joint of my body. My blood is flowing faster and my heart is alive. My senses increase and I'm aware of every inch of that room. In less than in instant all of these elements come together and suddenly the internal comedy switch is flipped to on. Now it doesn't matter anymore, now I'm flying, now it is my time to shine or fall, now I'm in the moment and now I am living. Everything that has happened before this does not matter anymore, now I exist again. If I'm lucky, an era of timelessness begins, a feeling of slow motion. I can live a thousand lifetimes in a second and let them see my world with my eyes. Every movement graceful, every word articulate, every point perfection. As suddenly as it began the moment halts. With that, a red light glows telling me my time is over. In the span of a few minutes I've made a few friends and possibly a few enemies. I exit to the sound of rousing applause and all is well for now in this comic's world.

Until Next Time - Keep Laughing

Master deBaters

Hello friends. It's the beginning of a new month, the start of the weekend, and payday! I'm looking forward to sleeping in, laying in various states of vegetation, and not dealing with good for nothing yuppies.

Saturday I shall have to arise at an unGodly hour to make it to a shoot in Brooklyn again. We are shooting two sketches back to back which will take an entire day. It is hard work and that is exactly what I enjoy about it. Last night I was up late writing when the boss called. He wanted to make some revisions to my scripts, in fact he asked me to change the entire thing from start to finish. I was a little indifferent to making such drastic cuts on the eve of a filming but I have to admit he does have good ideas. I was trying to decide if the writer in me was fighting to keep the congruence of the piece or if the comedian within me agreed that the script did need punching up. In either case, the actor in me will always adapt. Although I'm not sure how tasteful it is to have a character farting out a window, I do know it can be really funny if done right. We shall see.

Last night was also the presidential debate which I caught most of. I must say, George Bush is a bigger moron that I originally thought. It was painfully obviously he didn't bother to prepare at all which I believe is a personal insult to the American public. He constantly stumbled his words, became agitated, was visibly nervous, and even acted arrogant. All he did was repeat and reword the same lines never really answering any of the questions posed to him. The best attack he could come up with over and over again was that Kerry was a flip-flop. Bush is the biggest lieing, murdering, vile, ignorant, cheating, so called poor excuse for a President ever in office. It amazes me that the people support him at all. How some of his biggest supporters ironically are the very same people he hurts the most. I also think the polls are misrepresenting this race and they're are a lot more Kerry supporters. Ever since Bush came into office I have doubted everything I see on the news, everything I read in the papers, I've doubted my freedom. Even writing this blog makes me nervous but nerves won't stop me from speaking up that's for sure.

PRESIDENT KERRY, (as far as I'm concerned he is my President), was well spoken, intelligent, articulate and clear on his message. You could see he did his research and had a strong grasp on the facts. This is a man who actually fought for his country and understands what it means to sacrifice. He also understands the importance of including the world on his foreign policies. That we are all in this swift boat together, clever aren't I.

Kerry is the only choice and everyone knows it.

Until Next time - Register and vote.

Somewhere in T.V. Land

It has been 2 days since my last post. It seems that in order for me to reach a computer to post this blog I must first face harrowing obstacles and battle unpredictable circumstances, exiting unscathed.

*Metal in My Rubber

Monday night I went out on a munchy run and on the way back heard a thumping as if I had a flat tire. Upon further investigation I discovered a peice of metal lodged smack in the middle of my back tire. Being that their was a potential for catastrophe, I completely ignored the problem but used it as a great excuse not to go into work the next morning. Instead of using that time to fix the tire I caught up on some sleep probably risking life and limb for the ride to work the next morning. I did make it to work and dropped off the car at a Sears Auto Center near by. I bring in the car for a simple tire fix and recieve a call from them asking for $200 to fix a legion of other problems.

-My brakes are failing - Big deal.

-My exhausts is falling off - Who cares.

-The car may explode - Tell me something new.

Anyway, I told them to fix the tire.

*LLEGAMOS T.V. Taping

Despite the rain, or should I say typhoon, we had a great show. As you know it is taped live at the improv comedy club every tuesday night. This week we had an author and finalist in this years Sundance Film Festival - Sofia Quintero. Also musical guest Q-Unique and the very funny comedian D.C. Benny of Last Comic Standing and a Comedy Central half hour special. This week I played a character named, "Eleganzia" (Elegance). I recieved the script a few hours before the show and quickly decided on a costume. I wore an open collared shirt with a thin black mustache and sunglases. He was to enter and explain to our host what he must do to be a proper star. Although it was a very short cameo appearence it is important to have a well rounded character to acheive comedic affect. If I don't beleive me or care about this persona, neither will any audience. The skit went over very well with our audience. In fact all the comedy bits went over very well, the entire show is entertaining from start to finish.

It's easy when you have the opportunity to work with such a fantastic cast and crew. I'm not the type to blow smoke up butts but I have to say this particular group of people are a pleasure to work with. They are professional, dedicated, and talented. From the actors to the camera men to the directors, they all do a phenomenal job of making this show fly. For the first time in a long time I don't feel stressed and I actually enjoy the work. They allow us creative freedom and a chance to explore comedic possiblity. These people have become my friends as well as business associates and with the integrity of their work their is no limit to what we can acheive. With each show their is more improvment and I can honestly say that this show has class and quailty. It demonstrates our strenths as latinos and proves that our culture isn't to much different from everyone elses. We are all human after all.

Until next time my fellow humans - Farewell.

Links:

http://www.dcbenny.com

http://www.speakersandartists.org/People/SofoaQuintero.html

http://hiphop.discogs.com/artist/Q-Unique

Weekend Adventures

This weekend was an adventure indeed. So much so that I am falling asleep at my desk this morning. zzzz.....zz....zzzzz.....HUH! WHA! Oh. Hey :)

Fri - & Saturday night I tried to rest as much as I could - falling in and out of sleep,in between working on the show, these two days are fuzzy at best. Who knows, I could still be dreaming this very moment.

Sunday was a freakin long day, I chose to use the word freakin to emphazie how utterly streched out it was. The day started at 8am, after I resurrected, my roomate and I left for Brooklyn to a film shoot. I'd like to mention that my roomate is also the PA for our show as well as the sound guy. When we reached Brooklyn we met up with the cast and crew to film a sketch called "Latincular", a very funny commercial spoof. We had a new make-up girl for the day, also a couple of other females that were cast in the day's shoot. Now being that we are all extremely busy individuals, most of us don't get a chance to socialize. So that when a pretty girl is within reach its understandable that human nature overtake you. However, when you have 10 men attacking 1 female for attention the results ae not favorable, especially for the poor victim. I think we should have the sexual harassment suits handy to save time. Most females like all the hoopla, at first they act surprised, then flattered, then they strut about in total confidence choosing who may endow them with compliments as if picking cherries from an endless cherry tree. That is why I have chosen to ignore any female on the set completly, not out of respect, out of strategy.

As soon as we wrapped (Thats showbiz talk for we finished) off we went to our writers meeting. This was a session of attempting to come up with material while battling to stay awake. We lost one of the writers as soon as he hit the couch. We did manage to come up with what I think is a very funny bit about voicemail left for the show by fans.

Finally we ended up at the Boston Comedy Club, where as we do every week, hang out in the bar directly underneath the club. On Sundays they have open mics for anyone and I mean anyone to perform. Since they won't let us upstairs into the actual comedy club until 6pm we are forced to sit their trying to work while listening to what looks like a homeless guy playing a bongo or some sort of home made instrument. This week however, they had a very good jazz band that made my hips involuntarily shake.

We made it above into the club and all of us collapsed. The scene looked like a bear cave, with serveral people lying around in various states of hibernation. When the show started around 9:30pm I was doing better. I had a grilled McChicken, smoked a dobey, and the night was young. The crowd was a good size and a little weird. They would laugh and immediately become silent with each joke. So naturally when my turn came I called them out on it which made them laugh..... and then immediately become silent again. I did have a good set and felt as if I had a grow spurt of discovery. I'm picking up alot from the other comics in our group and we try to help eachother with our acts. Usually a comedian doesn't have that luxery because of the competition involved, this is a cut throat business after all. Since you have the every man for himself mentality it's difficult to gauge who is with you or against you. We have a tremendous advantage that we are all secure in this T.V. show and don't need to have that attitude.

Speaking of which, The LLEGAMOS T.V. show preimered last night on LTV - Latin Television!! Alright! Its anyone's guess as to where the hell its actually airing or on what cable stations but Hooray - we hit the big time of small time cable!

Check your local listings and if you have LTV, do me a favor - record it for me :)

Until Next Time - Watch the Channels

I'm Alive!

Well folks the results from my check-up are in, with the exception of my high Cholesterol, blood circulation and heart murmur I'm in tip top shape!

I'm just glad it Friday, I'm burnt out from the week and need a little R&R. The New York Comedy Club called to book me for spots this weekend, but with my schedule lately and all the work I have on the T.V. show, one must know when to take time for oneself.

So I get a call yesterday from a comic friend of mine that is closely attached to a certain theatre group in NYC that I used to work for. Out of professional courtesy I shall not mention said theatre group here even though they aren't very professional. So for all intensive purposes I shall refer to them as, "The Assholes". Anyway this particular person I happen to respect, it's the rest of them I don't care for. He asked me why I haven't called or shown my face in a month. I wanted to say, "Because after working for "The Assholes", for so many years being treated like an outcast, having lies spread about me, not be appreciated, respected, or payed I decided to take my business elsewhere. I did not say the above, again out of respect for my friend who often was put in the middle.

Why am I posting this? Becasue I want to let all those beginning Actors, Comedians, Singers, and general Entertainers know that even if you don't posses the experience that does not mean you should be treated like dirt. I poured blood sweat and tears into that group and while I gained much as an artist it was without their help. This business is full of people that talk the talk but don't walk the walk. Directors that cherish their powers more than they love the craft. Producers who make you believe they are working for your best interests when really your working for theirs. Be realistic when going to auditions and don't be taken by the, "Your going to be a star", mentality. Its just a business based on making money and you are the product. Honestly look at where you are in your career and take the projects for what they are, a credit, a learning experience, a stepping stone toward a better gig. Many of you already know these facts but it's always good to reiterate. These people have no control over your career - only you do.

So NOW after trashing me for no reason what so ever besides extreme jealousy, they want me for a future show. THEY CAN KISS MY BROWN ASS!!! Hows that for control.

On that note - HAPPY FRIDAY!

Until we meet again.

A Spoonful of Sugar

Greetings from cyber space, Today I have a doctors appointment to get a full physical. If left to my own devices cruel and unusual things can happen. I got bored and decided to check the popular website, WebMD. By the end of my session I was convinced I had several diseases, everything from Lymphoma to Diabetes. So the only way to be at peace is to go to the doctors office and demand I receive every test known to modern medicine.

I tell ya, getting an appointment is quite a task. Now I know why Doctors go to school for so long, so they can never work. Every office I called had a different rule or excuse:

"Sorry the doctor only works Tuesdays and Thursdays"

"You need a referral in order to see this doctor"

"We don't take United Health Care for physicals"

"He only works every other full moon during the leap year"

I mean, come on! The receptionists act as if you just stumbled upon their secret society and only the elite are allowed proper health care. It's also strange how the service improves the further North you travel. In my town, where us minorities live, you may walk in for a check-up and walk out with an amputated limb. Not to mention you have to wait in a 4ft by 4 ft room with 80 other patients with highly contagious diseases. On the positive side most of these offices have many services - Doctor/Insurance/Cell Phone Outlet so you can get a tax refund on your new cell phone in the middle of surgery.

So today I will opt to drive a bit north and pray that they don't discover some new rare disease that only I have.

Until next time - IF their is a next time

Over the Hump Wed.

Hello all or Myself, Today is Wednesday, jeez only the middle of the week. On my way to New York yesterday I was almost killed by a Welsh Farms truck # 182. Ya know those trucks with a big cows ass on the rear door. I was driving my little ford behind him when suddenly he stops in the middle of the road. My only warning were his white reverse lights before he gunned it, full speed, right toward me. All I see is this huge cow ass about to sit on me. Without a second thought I switched into reverse and began to back up into a car that was behind me! Playing a reverse Cat & Mouse game while blaring my horn I went as far as I could before ramming into the poor guy behind me. Luckliy and not a moment sooner the truck came to a screechng halt just inches from my front bumper. What was this guy smoking? As if that weren't odd enough, he then jerks forward and decides to come to a complete stop, blocking the road. I sat their with a line of cars hoking the horn to no avail. Finally we all decided to reverse out of the road. Thank you God for protecting this fragile soul.

Well Last nights LLEGAMOS TV Show's live taping at the Improv was awsome. It was a packed house and the audience had a lot of energy. I couldn't beleive how exited they were. We invited a comic by the name of Angry Bob to do a sketch with us and it went over very well, he is quite the character. George our host seemed out of it before the show, which made me worried, but as soon as those cameras turned on he became a different person.

My new sketch, "Salsa" went great! Wardrobe got me this ridiculous costume with this huge mustache. They got me this big puffy muti-colored dress shirt with ruffless that made me feel like a parrot. I also had two very fine ladies as my Salsa girls come on stage with me. It was a lot of fun. The good thing about writing your own material is that when you play the part, no research is required. I can reach the core of the character in an instant because it came from me.

We also had a very talented comedian on the show by the name of Peeches Rodriguez. I actually met her about a year ago when she DJed for a stand up show we did. I recognized her and said, "Aren't you the DJ?" She replied, "You didn't know I'm a comedian as well." And she was a very talented comic indeed. After the show she came up to me, "I heard you do a Freddie Prinze impression, where can I catch that?" I nodded and told her where I would be performing next month. She grabs me by the hand and pulls me away from the crowd in front of the club. She then tells me how much Freddie Prinze has inspired her career and really expressed her feeling toward him with great emotion. I of course share her emotion for Freddie.

Its amazing to me how many people Freddie Prinze has touched. His success was so short and yet he managed to accomplish so much. I constantly meet people who share their expereince of Freddie and how he inspired them. I can only hope to spread my humor and try to change the world as he did.

Until next time - Keep smiling.

Weekends a Busy

This blog is really for my future self to read, I hardly think anyone cares to read this blog out of the millions of them out there. Anyhoot, in case I reach one soul.

This weekend was pretty standard. I was slated to shoot a few skits at the Bronx Zoo but hence the producers cancelled due to what they called, "A complication with the zoo". I wasn't too disappointed since it was raining cats and dogs or should I said Lions and Bears.

Every Sunday is the comedy show at the Boston Comedy Club in the Villiage. I love the Villiage people. It's one of the few bohemian places left in the city. I consider myself to be a conservative hippy and enjoy their company.

The show started at 9:45pm - kinda late. I went up first, after the host of course, and while the audience seemed a bit subdued by the end of my set I felt I had bought their energy up at least a notch or two. It was a smaller crowd, about 25 people. I find you can work the crowd more and my material less with a crowd like that, you have to get more personal in order to win them over.

Jim Norton of Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn fame stopped by and did a set. I think its interesting that once your on T.V. you can come in and pretty much crash any room you want. While I understand the need for semi-celebs to give the room credibility I can not understand bumping another comedian simply on the fact that he isn't on T.V. In any case, as he was leaving, I shook his hand in recognition as I do all of the other comics and off he went back to T.V. land.

Today, Monday, I'm beyond tired but I have to pay the bills so here I am at my day job. Ahh Corporate America, surrounded by yuppies. At least I killed some time writing this blog on company time ;) Until next time - I bid you Adue.

Meeting with a Star

Greetings, Yesterday afternoon I had a very exciting day, I met the great Paul Rodriguez. A very talented comedian who is one of the Latin Kings of comedy. I remember first seeing him in a hilarious movie called, "Born in East L.A." starring Cheech Marin, when I was about 11 years old.

Our show called, "LLEGAMOS" (we've arrived) got in interview with him and I, being a cast member of the show, tagged along.

We entered the Laugh Factory in Time Square, which I have never been in. What a big place. I hope to play there one day soon. We were seated in the main area, where their was a big stage with a neon backdrop that said, "Laugh Factory" illuminated. The crew busied themselves with setting up lights and camera while I sat on stage under the hot lights pretending to be famous. Then right on time, in walks Paul. He looked at ease and in shape and gave us 20 min more than we asked.

He spoke of many things, among them the late great Freddie Prince Sr. and the comedy of Cantinflas, the Mexican Chaplin. I never knew that Paul served in the U.S. Airforce and also that his son has won Gold in the X-games for skateboarding. All in all it was a very interesting conversation which will be airing in a few weeks on LTV (Latin Television) so check your listings.

My boss and host of the show was very please because Paul anointed him a "Sir" of comedy. Now we won't hear the end of that one for at least 3 to 4 weeks.

Well, thank God its Friday, I got a paycheck from my day job and can eat again, lol. Their are many facts I haven't revealed yet because I'm not sure if I want to remain anonymous. Perhaps this blog will be more intriguing that way.

With that said - Until next time - God Speed.

Links: - http://www.paulrodriguez.com/

9/16/04 Hello Myself

This is my first blog. I decided to document my experiences with the world, or the 3 folks that may read this because like everyone else, it is my unique perspective. I am a Comedian in New York City. That's basically the extent to my uniqueness.